Bro, How Do You Blend?
Unless you’re a caveman you’re probably not getting all your protein and nutrients exclusively from whole foods.
The average bodybuilding is consuming more powder than the entire real characters of Wolf of Wall-Street combined. From pre-workouts to intra-workouts and post-workout protein blends it seems we’re constantly having to mix something.
Top Shaker Bottles Reviewed
It seems like only yesterday the original Blender Bottle with the steel whisky ball started appearing on shelves everywhere from supplement shops to even Wal-Mart.
Since then, partially thanks to the growth of bodybuilding and partly the incessant promotion of supplements, shaker bottles have slowly been evolving.
No longer are you stuck with an old old water bottle or Nalgene and clumpy ass nasty half-mixed pre-workouts and protein shakes. No, now there are a whole variety of dope shakers of all sizes and offering multiple functions.
The humble shaker bottle has evolved from just a regular bottle with a agitator to a practical swiss-army knife supplementation delivery tool. Here are the 5 coolest shakers currently on the market:
1. The Classic Blender Bottle
Blender Bottle, the company, has expanded impressively beyond it’s humble one-bottle beginnings. They now make a whole variety of bottles and storage devices for fitness fanatics like us.
The Classic Blenderis our favorite because why mess with a good thing? Cap screws on quick and easy and doesn’t require much fuss and never leaks. The whisk is a simple design that works well and the plastic is BPA free. We don’t know what BPA is but we’re glad it’s not in there.
For the the more serious bro who ain’t f*cking around they make the Prostak bottle and sell a modular Expansion Pak add-on so you can carry all your powders, pills and weed stash with you all in one package.
The fully built-up Prostak w/ Expansion Pak is one impressive device. Granted it’s probably a bit much for a quick drive to your local gym, it could definitely be handy if you have to squeeze your gym time in before/after work and don’t have time to go home and mix pre-workouts, protein and supps separately.
The Prostak is definitely not to be f*cked with:
2. The Hydra Cup Dual Shaker
The Hydra Cup is another “all-in-one” kind of shaker bottle that does more than just mix one liquid. Instead, utilizing two separate chambers and two separate drinking holes, Hydracup allows you to have your two blends at the same time.
This is sweet because even with the above Blender Bottle Pro, if you mix your pre-workout and keep your protein in the bottom for post workout, and you don’t have a place to wash it out, then your chocolate whey post workout will probably have the same taste as your watermelon pre-workout. Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe not. We’re not sure, but we are a little OCD and thus keeping our liquids separate is a pretty cool thing.
The two compartments aren’t just limited to liquids however, as advertised, you can put mid-day snacks in there like nuts, you can put ice in there, or like we a dime bag and a one-y, whatever!
Only question is, because of the shape, there isn’t any “agitator” unit in the liquid to help blend it together, just a plastic grill on the top to filter out any clumps. So we probably would only use Hydra Cup with proteins that we know don’t clump together like a bunch of little turds (we’re looking at you Mass Gainers).
Still, brands like Rogue Fitness and Musclepharm have both licensed/offer branded versions of the Hydra Cup so you know it’s got to be solid.
3. Mous Shaker
The Mous shaker was a Kickstarter project that didn’t get funding but went onto production anyways. Why? Well because it’s a beautiful design solution to a problem everyone faces.
The goal of the Mous Shaker is to eliminate that rotting protein smell most shakers get when they aren’t washed thoroughly or they ARE washed but bits of protein stay in the corners at the bottom of the bottle or in the grooves in the lid.
So to eliminate all the places where protein powder could get stuck they made the vessel rounded, so no edges for sh*t to get stuck. They also made a lit with only one groove to keep that from getting gunked up to.
The result in the quest to remove all possible opportunities for stank to develop? Well, an utterly beautiful shaker that we’d love to take to the gym to show off because it’s so damn futuristic looking.
4. Cyclone Cup
The Cyclone Cup is no slack either. Continuing with the “multi-purpose” shaker trend, the Cyclone Cup has a cool little stash compartment at the bottom for your powders, cash, or whatever you want to put in there.
The really cool thing about the cyclone cup and what makes it unique is the cone-shaped fixed agitator. Most other shaker bottles utilize a free-range agitator that bounced around inside the bottle to help mix powders. Others don’t have agitators and instead use a flat grill at the mouth of the cup to strain chunks. The Cyclone Cup on the other hand uses a hybrid filter that protrudes INTO the blend.
We think this is really cool because sometimes with really thick shakes, like mass gainers that use milk instead of water, and have chia seeds mixed in or double doses of protein powder, the super light-weight wire whisk ball has a tough time really cutting through the thicker liquid. This is where a fixed place cone agitator would really come in handy; mixing the f*ck out of especially thick shakes.
Additionally, like many other manufacturers they are offering a dope selection of colors. It’s a cool product, in cool colors, with a unique blending feature. We like it.
5. Umoro One
Last but certainly not leas we have the Umoro One. This is probably one of the funnest shakers to use because of it’s cool “push button release” function. Essentially, you preload a little container with your supplement and then when you want to mix it just push a button to drop the agitator and powder into the water/milk below.
Umoro definitely gets points for creativity here. The big problem they’re solving with this “push button release” technology is sometimes, if you’re on the go and your put your powder in your standard shaker and add liquid later the powder will get stuck in the bottom and even the agitator won’t be able to free it.
The downsides of the Umoro is because it’s so engineered it has it’s limitations, as you can only fit one big scoop of powder in the lid. This means there’s no issue with pre-workout or BCAA supplements but if you’re used to two-scoops of protein you won’t be able to fit it all. Still, using something like a high protein whey isolate should help you pack in enough protein.
Despite the quantity limitations and extra sharp corners (this shaker is the absolute opposite of the Mous shaker mentioned above) the build quality is very solid and BPA-free.
*Bonus Special Honorable Mention*
#6 Jaxx Metal Shaker Cup
While they do make plastic cups just like everyone else, the Jaxx Stainless steel cup is the one you want to get. There’s not denying the long lasting and oder-fighting benefits of having a protein shaker made out of stainless steel.
Additionally the Jaxx uses a unique agitator that looks like, you guessed it, a jax to help mix powders. Besides just looking cool the Jaxx agitator is actually weighted, so like we mentioned previously, if your bulking or just really like mixing really thick shakes, having a fixed agitator (like the Cyclone Cup) or a weighted agitator like the Jaxx cup will really help you mix up fluids with higher levels of viscosity.
We also like the huge (oversized) carrying handle which comes in handy when you got your hands full with things like your iphone, towels, belts and wraps.
There you have it, 6 awesome shaker bottles to suit all needs and all occasions. It will be interesting to see how manufacturers can continue to push the evolution of the humble shaker bottle, if it’s still even possible at this point.
Choosing a bottle will come down to the following:
- You need to mix pre-workout or protein or both?
- How viscous will your shakes be?
- How much powder do you need to fit in?
- Do you need to store pills/other supplements as well?
- Are you a lazy washer or meticulous cleaner?
- What’s your budget?
By narrowing down your needs you should be able to find what you need from the above list. You don’t need to limit yourself to just one bottle either, sometimes two tools can get the job done better than just one!